The Weekly Commuter

The other day NPR was interviewing Republican voters in the state of Northern Florida (as opposed to the state of Northern Minnesota) about the current field of GOP candidates. Who would these voters pick if the primary were held that very moment? The views were decidedly mixed. Most every voter interviewed admitted that he or she was undecided. Only one voter was certain of who he would choose come January 29….Mitt Romney.

So why Mitt?

“He looks presidential,” this voter was quoted as saying. “He talks presidential, he acts presidential. He just seems like a president.”

(As opposed to, say, Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton.)

Looks presidential. Talks presidential.

Looks presidential.

Let’s face it: the other nominees–McCain, Giuliani–look like they’re getting up there in years. In McCain’s case it’s actually happening: the former senator from Arizona, whose Wikipedia page does a good job of deemphasizing his birth date (one could even argue that the birth date is somewhat hidden, appearing at the bottom of McCain’s wiki-resume and not at the top as is the standard) is a whopping 71 years old. Though Giuliani is only 63 he too looks the worse for wear (September 11th took a lot out of him, apparently).

Now there’s Huckabee. He’s certainly the youngest–younger even than Romney–at 52, and he looks his age as well (he’s the man who, after all, lost all those pounds), but come on, could you really hail a President Huckabee? It would be like having a President Kaybee or President May in the Oval Office. Just not gonna happen.

But Romney. President Romney. Nice. Sounds good. Good name. Good image. Looks presidential, like the voter said. Strong. Doesn’t have big ears, still has all his hair. Looks like a guy who will lead us out of darkness, or at least turn the game around. Why, Romney sounds like a football player (I know Steve Young will vote for him).

Which is why Romney, age 60, will win the Republican nomination, no doubts here. McCain has age against him. Huckabee has his last name. Giuliani has his…well, have you seen his face lately?

Only Romney, out of all the presidential contenders in the GOP field, has the two things that matter most in America now: looks and money.

Looks and money. Huh. I like that. So should you.

And the floodgates open.